No bread, milk or sugar

    In November, I began seeing a new doctor health care provider nurse practitioner (NP) who specializes in functional medicine. Here is explanation about functional medicine. To become a patient with this clinic I completed approximately 20 pages of health history, including a seven day food record. Then I waited two months for a new patient time slot. The first appointment lasted 2.5 hours. NP had already reviewed my information and prepared a timeline of my medical problems. She verified for me that thoughts and concerns were on target. They drew 5 or 6 vials of blood for tests and sent me home with two additional test kits. I was also instructed to begin eliminating gluten from my diet.

     Gluten is a protein found in wheat. It is responsible for the elasticity allowing breads to rise during baking. I am trying specialty gluten-free foods as I slowly remove gluten containing foods from our home. Thus far I have found satisfactory replacements for favorite foods (goldfish crackers, pizza dough, bread). Our city has a gluten-free grocery store within two miles of our house. Albertson's and Fred Meyer also have a selection of GF foods.

     Some of my readers (if there are indeed readers of this blog) know I've been reading voraciously to figure out what kind of dietary intervention I needed to help my gastro-intestinal system. Last summer, I considered the Specific Carbohydrate Diet developed by Elaine Gottschall. It didn't give me enough information about why certain foods are not allowed. Then I bought the GAPS diet book written by Dr. Natasha Campbell-McBride. The GAPS book arrived around the time I found the new clinic and I have not read it yet. I still plan to read it as a companion to the information from the NP.

     My next appointment (to discuss test results) resulted in eliminating casein from my diet. Casein is a protein found in milk products. If you don't drink milk (I do not), at first glance this might appear a simple change. It has not been simple! Cheese was my go-to protein source. It contains casein. Bye-bye cheese. I will miss you . . . . But, I've been avoiding milk products and it is helping my G.I. symptoms.

     The third appointment with NP took place the day the girls returned to school after Christmas break (Jan 4). We discussed the poop test results. My intestines have dysbiosis. This means the types and quantities of microscopic bacteria is out of whack. In a nutshell, there are too many of the less-desirable guys and too few of the desirable ones. I'm taking probiotics to help change this back to the correct ratios of good to not-as-good. NP has also recommended an yeast-free, anti-candida food plan for a month. Basically, this means eliminating starchy/sugary foods like most fruits, corn, potatoes, rice.

     I'm not doing it yet. It was simply too much for me to handle, given that I cannot have any dairy products, either. I've decided to wait until I am more comfortable with gluten-free and casein-free eating.

     Needless to say, all of this has rocked my world the past two months. I was somewhat prepared for and expected many of these changes but it's still been difficult. That's why y'all haven't heard much from me lately.

Recent happenings

     We have been busy with fun activities, in addition to the regular, not-always-as-fun things like school, laundry, scraping windshields. Here are some highlights:

In costumes outside the fellowship in early December. Both girls had parts in which they were plants so they wore green.

Poodaloo on stage as a tree branch. The skit was about the difference one person can make. It was called, 'How Much Does a Snowflake Weigh?'

Panda onstage as a laurel branch. This skit was a trial concerning traditional winter celebrations. The greenery were called on the witness stand (but that photo wasn't very good).

Our Christmas tree was decorated by the girls. It is beautiful and glows out the front window for all to see.

We attended a celebration at Panda's school. It was titled 'Milk and Cookies with Santa and Mrs. Claus'. In spite of us being the 92nd family in line to see Santa, a wonderful time was had by all the kids. Here Poodaloo is working on her letter to Santa.

Panda is making reindeer food using oatmeal and glitter.

 Visiting Dasher the reindeer outside the school building.

Mrs. Claus reading stories to children as they waited to see the big guy. Poodaloo is wearing a yellow snowflake on her hairdo. She made the snowflake while waiting in the gym. Panda didn't make snowflakes because she was busy running around the gym with her classmates.

 This one is "the funny photo" suggested by Santa. Both Mr. and Mrs. Claus were featured in a story.

Countdown to Christmas

     The girls are opening advent calendars to hasten the arrival of Christmas. Several years ago I found reasonably priced advent calendars with little boxes to fill. I spent oodles of time searching for toys small enough to fit into the boxes (less than 2 inches square). This was like looking for needles in the haystack. The new modus operandi is a note in the box (along with candy) saying there is a gift to open.

     I didn't realize how much the girls LOVE the tradition until this year. I didn't get things ready before December 1 and planned to skip it. No way were Panda and Poodaloo* letting that happen.

     After several days of (not so gentle) reminders, I bought five bags of Christmas candy and let them fill a calendar for each other.

     The great thing is: they are happy with this method, too. It makes no difference to their enjoyment of the tradition. How cool is that? Plus, I've finally gotten myself in a holiday frame of mind and starting this morning, there will be notes in the boxes and they will have surprises to open.

     *  Poodaloo has requested to be known by her full nickname from this day forward. She does not care for the diminuitive version (Pooda).

Another post worth reading

     Lest you think childhood trauma is not on my mind lately, check out this post from Jen Hatmaker. I stumbled onto it around 3:00a.m. this morning when I couldn't sleep.

Quilt Block Challenge

     I've challenged myself to make a quilt block each day for the next two weeks. Last Saturday I took a class for machine quilting and it lit a fire under me. I found free block patterns on-line and got busy using my fabric stash. I've chosen beginner level blocks that finish at 12" x 12". A few days ago I snagged a 10 1/2 yard chunk of flannel at St. Vincent de Paul for $5.25. It will be a nice backing for this challenge project.

     Here are the first blocks.

Spinning Star

This went together beautifully although it is slightly shy of finished size. I love the design.

Peace and Plenty

I had some technical difficulty understanding the cutting directions. Thus I have a few extra 'parts' lying around the sewing room after finishing this one.

    
     Panda is interested in learning to sew. Since she is off from school, we cruised the pattern books at Joann Fabric. She was ready to buy ten patterns but we exercised caution and left them all at the store.

     This Joann location has an independent sewing machine shop within it. The salesperson showed us two models. One a Singer and the other a Husquvarna-Viking. Several people have recommended Janome brand so I'm also considering it. My current machine is more than 35 years old and a second machine is looking very likely.

November - already?!?!

     Halloween has come and gone. The decorations are stowed away for next year (except the witch hats, which are mighty fun props). The candy treats are almost gone.

     We have experienced the first snow fall. Panda's school is on a track break for three weeks in November. They had a fall program the last day of school. It was an entertaining variety show with a play, songs and comedians. Panda played Sally in 'The Great Pumpkin'.

Sally (aka Panda) in The Great Pumpkin

 Pooda plays in the snow wearing a fancy dress and heels.

The maple leaves have turned (and fallen by the time of this post). 

Play activities move indoors with a skyscraper made of Lincoln Logs.

Another sign it is getting cold, Diva and Buddy have moved indoors for snoozing.

Because there is no such thing as being too close to the screen. (I don't understand why anyone would do this . . . . )

 A last stint of outdoor play with shorts & bare feet. Baba included in photo for reference so the viewer can gauge height of the handmade play structure.

Pooda crashes at the top of the stairs. Yes, she is asleep. 

Removing slimy seeds from the pumpkins. Still warm enough for shirt sleeves.

Dental update

     The oral surgery went off without a hitch . . . . as long as you don't call these hitches:

     Pooda told Panda they would poke a needle into her stomach and take out blood. Eeek! Not exactly a story to put fears to rest. There was a monitor on her stomach so that's probably what Pooda remembered. And stories are always better if there is blood involved. Particularly if the blood comes out of your stomach . . . .

     Or this:  Baba woke up at 6:15 and said he was sick. He was supposed to drive Pooda to Aunt Shaw's house. But he could barely walk, much less drive a car safely. A quick 6:30 am phone call and we had a new plan. J-Bear and her dad would drive over to fetch Pooda for a play date.

     Yesterday, Panda and I took a class field trip to the botanical garden. It started out very rainy but had blown over by the time the bus arrived. They learned about seeds, dissected lima beans, gathered seeds from the garden, and snacked on exploded endosperm (a.k.a. popcorn).

Parenting coach

     Hiring a parenting coach has helped us live 'Beyond Consequences' each day. We use Skype to meet with the coach. Usually Baba comes home to attend the session, but sometimes he can't get away from the office.

     Living Beyond Consequences means using two questions to guide parent-child interactions:
    ~ What is driving this behavior?
    ~ What can I do at this very moment to improve my relationship with her?

     I think the biggest value of a parent coach is relating specific examples we encounter. After hearing what happened, the coach walks us through the event and talks about what we could have done differently at several points.

A recent example:
     It was a hectic morning getting ready for school. I had been juggling my attention back and forth between both girls. It was time to leave and we couldn't find Pooda. I searched through the house and finally found her sitting on the patio. I went outside and asked “What’s the matter, sweetie?” Her reply, "You are a terrible mom because you don't have time to help your child who needs help. You only help your other child."

     Oops . . . I guess Panda had been taking up a lot more of my attention than I had realized.
     Gulp . . .  Obviously Pooda needs me to take a few minutes and hold her.
     But . . . Panda will go into hysterics if she thinks we’re late for the bus.

     What should I do?

     With a bad outcome either way, I decide to keep Panda calm, at the expense of not meeting Pooda’s immediate need. I carried Pooda (with shoes and backpack) out the front door. I locked the door behind us and said it was time to leave for school. Pooda said she wasn't coming. I assumed hoped she would eventually follow us.

     Panda and I started walking to the bus stop. Panda provides updates every ten seconds about whether Pooda was following us or not. We didn't see her following until nearly at the bus stop. She met up with her friend M. and M's dad and walked with them, chatting happily. Until she got about 50 feet from me. Then she stopped and her face changed to stink-eye.

     I walked over to her and picked her up. Again, she began saying I'm an awful mom because I don't have time for helping my child who needs help.

     On one hand, I have decided not to force Pooda to do something she is crying and begging against doing (unless it is for safety). Usually this happens at bed time or when we are rushing out the door to leave.

     On the other hand,  Panda will blow a gasket if Pooda misses the bus and I will have two completely dysregulated children on my hands.

     At such a loss of knowing what to do, I continue with forcing Pooda onto the bus. I peeled her off me (twice) to get her on the bus. The bus driver helped me by shutting the door very quickly. I trudged back home feeling like pond scum for making Pooda get on the bus when she was so very upset.

How coach helped us:
     A few days later, I relay this saga to my coach. She is amazed at Pooda's ability to verbalize her needs. We discuss how I could have honored this need rather than brushing it aside. We talk about what to do to make it okay for Panda, too.

     The coach's advice helped me figure out the best thing was to have stayed home and let us all become regulated. We could have stayed home for a few extra minutes. That had been my first thought, but I quashed it. Traditional parenting wisdom is to make kids do the things they should do. It is difficult to curb this line of thought, even though BCLC is how I want to parent my children.

     Coach suggested allowing Panda to do a fun activity while I spend time with Pooda. For example, she could watch TV, which they are not allowed to watch during the school week.

     While Panda was watching TV, I could let Pooda share her feelings and help me understand what she needed from me. This wouldn’t take very long. Pooda regulates more quickly than Panda and her solutions are generally simple requests.

     We would not have been very late to school - perhaps 15 or 20 minutes. In the big picture, reassuring Pooda that mommy will do everything she can to meet Pooda’s needs is more important. Being a few minutes late for school is small potatoes.

Post Script:  I have been writing this post for a couple of weeks. This morning I had the opportunity to repeat the ‘don’t want to get on the bus’ scene. We all drove to the bus stop and Panda got onto the bus while Pooda stayed home with me for awhile.

Squirrels, scallow eggs and teeth

Squirrels:     Hogan found a dead squirrel in our back yard. The news of such interesting road kill travelled quickly - Buddy & Diva soon joined Hogan to investigate the corpse. Panda and Pooda were at sleep-overs and Baba was working late. That left me to dispose of the squirrel. Ugh !
     Squirrel bodies are a lot bigger than you would think and I didn't want to touch it. I tried covering it with newspaper and rocks. Hoagie, Buddy and Diva continued to paw at it. My next attempt was covering it with a yard bucket, topped by a large rock. None of these kept my animals away from it. After (an embarrassingly long amount of) a time, it occured to me to use a shovel to pick up the darn thing.
     I dumped the squirrel into the backyard garbage can. The first thing Pooda said when she looked into the can: "Mom, it was a boy squirrel!" (Male squirrels are quite well-endowed.) Between Friday and Monday, the squirrel-in-the-trash-can was popular viewing by Pooda and her 'friends who are boys, not boyfriends'.

Scallow Eggs:     It's a treat to travel alone in the car with Pooda. She is full of insightful observations and shares them freely. Not long ago, Pooda told me about her favorite TV show on Disney channel. It's called Jake and the Neverland Pirates. It seems pirates have their own lexicon and Pooda was eager to tell me some of the words pirates use.

Pooda: "Mom, one thing pirates call people is scallow egg. A scallow egg is someone who makes trouble."
Mom: "I think the word is scalliwag."
Pooda: "No, it is scallow egg."
Mom: "Okay."

Teeth:    Last week Panda complained of a sore tooth. She said it was one with the orthodontic spacer attached (upper left molar). It was a couple of days before we could get into the orthodontist office. During the wait, a bottom molar fell out.
     At the ortho's office, they decided the culprit was a neighboring tooth. It has a cavity and needs come out. They referred us to our regular pediatric dentist, who looked at the x-ray and said to to an oral surgeon. The oral surgeon takes it out on Friday morning. Pooda had this surgeon remove a tooth last fall and she has assured Panda that it will be a piece of cake.
     Meanwhile, Pooda had a very loose front tooth. She wiggled & jiggled it all weekend. Monday she chewed a big wad of gum, hoping to get the tooth to fall out. The gum worked and the tooth came out. She is eagerly practicing All I Want for Christmas is my Two Front Teeth.
     Last night, J-Bear called to say she lost a tooth, too. The good news is all the missing teeth are supposed to come out. They are not the kind which cost several thousand dollars to replace.

Another view of our world

     A mom from one of my yahoo support groups posted this link. The writing is wonderfully desriptive.
     Click here to read about the adoption-changed life of a Texas family. I am in awe at the depth of their understanding when the kids have been home less than two months. Thank you, Jen Hatmaker, for describing it so eloquently!